


White Night (It Meant Something)

by orphan_account



Category: UP10TION
Genre: F/M, also if you wanted a legit somi and kogyeol story: i'm sorry, this is mostly about hwanhee, this isn't worth reading it's literally just the white night music video in words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 12:12:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10741482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Wooseok was the only obstacle in the way of healing.





	White Night (It Meant Something)

**Author's Note:**

> in case you didn't read the tags: this is literally just the white night music video translated into words. it's probably not worth your time, but I wanted to write it anyway. (i had the urge to write up10tion). also: white night is a great song.

Hwanhee was scared. Numb. Everything -- and any negative connotation there existed in an emotion, Hwanhee felt it. Most of it was disbelief, because nothing had hit him yet. He relived the last half an hour in the few moments before he noticed Jinwook's disappointed shake of his head from his peripheral. He remembered his should colliding with Minsoo's-- a blossomed bruise on his shoulder He remembered the loud, _loud_  sound that had come as Minsoo's head collided with the ice. He had a few more brief flashes in one moment-- Somi's scream; Wooseok's shoulder ramming past his; multiple blades skating to one spot on the ice. And then he noticed Jinwook staring at him from the corner of his eye, and he was brought back to reality-- reality, where his helmet was on his lap, where his head was pounding with all that negative emotion, where his eyes were blurry but focused on one spot on the floor.

Not ten seconds after Hwanhee had seen Jinwook looking at him, Wooseok walked into the room. Hwanhee knew what was coming. He hoped maybe-- just maybe Wooseok was better than that, but Hwanhee had known him for years. He _knew_. He knew Wooseok would walk right up to him and grab him-- a firm spot in the center of his chest, slam him back into the wall and then pull him to his feet with another hand on his chest. Sooil was the only one to step forward-- to grab Wooseok by the shoulder, pull him back away from Hwanhee, "Don't do this, Wooseok."

Wooseok didn't listen; no one could have expected him to. He went for Hwanhee again-- grabbing him by the chest and all but flinging him onto the bench on the adjacent wall. His opposite hand-- dominant-- right-- was raised, forming a fist as to hit Hwanhee, but Sooil came at him again, grabbed his bicep and told him " _Don't do this_ , Wooseok;" and Wooseok did lower his arm, but only to jerk Sooil's hand away, tell him to "Fuck off, hyung;" and then he slammed his hand into the wall-- right next to Hwanhee's head, making him flinch again. Sooil had had enough by then; he grabbed Wooseok by the shoulder and said " _Enough_ ," and he dragged Wooseok from the room.

That night, they were all wearing red and blue-- their team jerseys. And it meant something to all of them.

 

 

Hwanhee had learned more than one lesson since Go Minsoo's funeral-- the kind of lessons that were created by an individual situation in one's life. Most of them were lessons created by Wooseok-- _stay away from Somi_  earned him a beating and a skill: ignoring pain. Hwanhee's whole body was pulsing with pain and he was seriously craving an ice pack of some sort, but he was sitting rather still in the corner of a coffee shop-- empty, because it was supposed to be closed that day. However, Somi came in to get away-- something she did often. Hwanhee only knew because he followed her-- creepy, maybe, and surely against the lesson Wooseok had tried to teach him, but, in his defense, he was one of Somi's best friends before all of this happened, and he really, _really_  just wanted to make sure she was okay.

Hwanhee no longer trusted Wooseok-- someone Hwanhee should have been able to trust to take care of Somi. However, it was only because of him that Hwanhee felt he should have been able to take care of Somi by himself-- if he didn't have so much hate for Hwanhee, they would be able to look out for her together-- and they would be able to look out for each other, too. They would be able to heal the way the others were healing; but, instead, Wooseok insisted on keeping the pain-- and inflicting it on Hwanhee. Hwanhee sometimes wondered if Wooseok was doing the same to Somi-- not beating her, of course, but keeping her wounds opened. He wondered if Wooseok talked to Somi about Minsoo. He wondered if Wooseok spit upon Hwanhee's name when he and Somi spoke. He could never get close enough to know; Wooseok always beat him down and abandoned him, taking Somi with him. Hwanhee knew something was going on, at least; because Somi refused to be around Hwanhee when Wooseok was there, and Wooseok was _always there_. She also refused to stop Wooseok when he was raining fists down on Hwanhee. Something was going on; and Hwanhee wasn't sure what to think.

Hwanhee stopped thinking so that he could focus on Somi-- Somi, who hadn't cried in public since the funeral-- Somi, who was playing with jenga blocks and smiling to herself. She knew Hwanhee was there, but she hadn't pay him any attention-- apart from getting up to make him hot chocolate when he walked in and sat down. That warmed his heart, for he thought Somi was avoiding him, but then she came back with a warm drink and a warm smile-- albeit small, and lacking eye contact. She whispered to him that Wooseok would be here in an hour; Hwanhee just nodded.

Too bad Hwanhee let time slip through his fingers.

Somi was carrying a large pile of pizza boxes-- likely to stack in the back-- when Wooseok showed up. Coincidentally, she had just tripped-- fallen on her butt and dropped all of the pizza boxes. Hwanhee stood-- quick as he could and made to help her, but he hadn't even gotten to the corner of the table before Wooseok was there-- rushing in to help her instead. Hwanhee watched him; he watched the interaction. He watched Wooseok pick up the boxes and set them on the table. He watched the pout cross Somi's face as she simply watched Wooseok. She was quiet-- too quiet, and Hwanhee started to wonder what kind of control Wooseok had over her-- what kind of influence. Never before had Somi been so quiet; never before had Somi simply picked herself up and stared at the ground to wait for Wooseok to tell her what to do next. It was strange, and Hwanhee couldn't even think to hide himself-- at least sit back down and blend in. He could only watch-- watched as Wooseok put the boxes on the counter-- watched as Wooseok walked back to her-- watched as Wooseok sent him a glare. Hwanhee gulped; he was scared. He was so scared of Wooseok anymore. But Wooseok didn't do anything except for glare and take Somi's hand-- took her hand and took her. They left the shop together, the bell ringing violently as Wooseok pushed the door open and led Somi out. Hwanhee carefully sunk back into his seat and stared at the half-empty cup of hot chocolate Somi had brought him.

That day, Somi was wearing a flannel, Hwanhee was wearing black and grey, and Wooseok was wearing yellow; and it meant something to all of them.

 

 

Sometimes, Hwanhee needed a getaway, same as Somi. Sometimes, Hwanhee felt guilty for taking his stress and tears to the rest of his friends-- a group of seven that was suffering because of a mistake Hwanhee had made. Most of the time, thought, Hwanhee was able to ignore the guilt, because none of them made him feel that way. At the beginning, sure. At the beginning, the only one to really be on his side was Sooil-- the only one to address the way Wooseok was acting-- the only one to protect Hwanhee-- the only one to help-- the only one to _forgive_. Dongyeol had come around barely five seconds after Wooseok slammed him into the wall on The Night They All Wore Blue. Then it was Gyujin, after Sooil dragged Wooseok from the room. Sungjun, at Minsoo's funeral. Yein, the first time Hwanhee cried around them. Changhyun, when he saw Gyujin wrap his arms around Hwanhee and hold him that night-- a night where most of them were wearing white and watching dumb movies as they healed together.

And, finally, Jinwook, right now.

Hwanhee was frustrated, because he couldn't get ahold of Somi. He was texting her, calling her, wishing she would respond. He had a few of Minsoo's things-- things he'd given to Hwanhee, things Hwanhee felt as though he should return. His helmet, his puck. He wanted to pass them on to Somi-- Somi, who Hwanhee doubted had ever really gotten to grieve Minsoo's death, what with Wooseok taking control, taking his place. Hwanhee had seen them on some days when they both wore yellow; standing in phone booths and drinking coffee; playing in newly fallen autumn leaves. It was similar to what Minsoo did with Somi on dates-- and, sure, Somi smiled, but most of the time she wore that dead, neutral expression-- a sign that she missed Minsoo, and Hwanhee wished he had enough courage to save her. (Damn him for being scared of Wooseok; damn Wooseok for being so mean.)

Hwanhee thought about all of this as he swung around a pole, holding his helmet in one hand, waiting for his left pocket to buzz with a new notification. His mind was so focused that he didn't notice Jinwook sitting a few feet away, watching him. He wasn't able to look over and read Jinwook's thoughts-- his expressions readable like an open book. He didn't see the soft smile and the forgiveness; he didn't see the wonder in his eyes as he told himself to ask how Hwanhee was doing. He only heard Sooil's voice-- Sooil, who had gathered up everyone from their team that would come and asked that they all of a reunion-- all play and heal, the way they had been for some months now.

"Hwanhee!" Sooil had called, and a smile sprung to Hwanhee's face. He missed the smile that came to Jinwook's face-- the happiness over the simple fact that Hwanhee had it in him to smile. Hwanhee was focused in on Sooil-- on hopping down and running to him, hugging him tight. He ignored his phone; he dropped his helmet in favor of just holding Sooil. And then Sooil moved away, swooped down to grab Hwanhee's helmet and frown at his face. His hand tucked itself around Hwanhee's chin; his fingers tilted Hwanhee's face and studied the bruises. He clenched his jaw; he asked " _Seriously?_ " and Hwanhee nodded. Sooil sighed, "If I see him again, I'm going to get him for this," and Hwanhee brushed it off, "Doesn't matter. I killed Minsoo."

"It _does_  matter. You didn't kill Minsoo-- you made an honest mistake. Any one of us could have done it." Sooil said. Hwanhee nodded, "Could have-- but didn't. Because everyone else was playing right."

"Stop blaming yourself. Wooseok means shit to any of us now-- you know this wouldn't fly with Minsoo." Sooil said. Hwanhee scoffed softly, keeping his eyes at the ground, "Yeah--'cause Minsoo always liked me more. Look where that got me now."

"You're kidding me, Hwanhee. You're going to blame Minsoo, too?" Sooil asked, and Hwanhee shook his head. He felt the tears coming-- the frustration and the headache. He knew it was Wooseok's fault-- all of this was Wooseok's fault but Hwanhee had set it in motion. He brought his fists to his eyes and rubbed away the tears; he muttered "No, no-- I don't blame Minsoo. I miss Minsoo," and Sooil tugged him in, hugged him close. Jinwook came, too; he wrapped his arms around Hwanhee's back and tucked himself into Hwanhee's shoulder. Hwanhee didn't even look, didn't even know Jinwook was there. He assumed it was Sungjun, or Dongyeol, so he was shocked to hell and back to see Jinwook when he pulled away from Sooil.

"Jinwook-hyung?" Hwanhee asked, wiping the last of his tears away from his eyes. Jinwook smiled softly. He fixed Hwanhee's hair, rubbed a spare tear from his eye, traced a bruise on his jaw. He didn't say anything-- just smiled, and wrapped his arm around Hwanhee's waist. He didn't have to say anything, though. The silence was filled soon-- a call from Gyujin, "Hwanhee!" and a sudden rush of hugs from Dongyeol, from Yein, from Changhyun and from everyone else. There was laughter-- including Hwanhee's. There was a buzz in Hwanhee's pocket that he didn't notice-- and three more over the next couple hours that weren't even in Hwanhee's pocket anymore. They buzzed on the concrete-- on a bench-- in Jinwook's pocket; because they played basketball, and they skipped rocks, and they ran around. They _healed_.

That day, they were all wearing black. And it meant something to all of them.

 

 

 **20:43**  
From: Hwanhee                                                          
I'm so sorry                                                          
I got side-tracked. I'm so, so sorry                                                          
Can you still meet me?                                                        

 **20:47**  
                                                        From: Somi  
                                                        Give me a place

Hwanhee rode his motorcycle to Somi's apartment and met her out front. She looked beautiful, Hwanhee noticed. She was wearing mostly black-- black shorts, black jacket. Hwanhee had a brief wonder if it was from Minsoo; Minsoo used to love leather. Paired with the plaid, button-up shirt she had beneath it, Hwanhee could only assume it was an outfit that Minsoo had either given to her or loved on her. Hwanhee avoided asking, though. In fact, he avoided saying anything except for "Let's go somewhere private? Just in case...." _Wooseok comes around_ ; and Somi nodded. Hwanhee handed her his helmet and climbed onto his bike. The hesitation to wrap her arms around him hurt Hwanhee a bit, but he opted not to say anything about it. It was unnecessary to mention; Hwanhee doubted it Somi cared about his pain anymore, given that Wooseok didn't. He had learned it was best to just keep quiet-- another subtle lesson Wooseok taught him.

Hwanhee drove her to his apartment building, not too far away, and stopped his bike as he got to the stairs. He didn't bother to climb them; he wasn't going to take her up to his room. He had everything he needed; he had Minsoo's helmet, and his puck. He had everything he wanted to say planned out-- very few things, and he doubted if he would even say them. He debated on it as he was walking, bringing Somi to a bench around the back of his apartment building. Quietly, he handed over the helmet. He watched Somi's eyes fall upon it; he watched her lips pout and her eyes fill with tears. He was lucky enough to not see them fall. She simply took the helmet and smiled a little, tucked it beneath her chin and held it. Hwanhee knew what he wanted to say, but it took a minute for him to say it.

"Minsoo gave it to me when he scored the winning point for our team last game." Hwanhee muttered. Somi didn't look at him. Hwanhee wasn't even sure if she was listening, but he talked anyway. "He told me it was getting small for his head. He doubted if I could wear it, either, but he wanted me to keep it... said he-- he only wanted to give it to me."

Hwanhee thought that last bit was unnecessary, but Somi said nothing. Who knew if she was even listening.

Hwanhee let himself silent for some moments more, and then he pulled Minsoo's hockey puck from his pocket and handed that to her, too. Somi's eyes fell slowly upon it, the same way they had with the helmet. She took the puck and gently rubbed her thumb over it. Again, a thin layer of tears covered her eyes, but, again, she didn't let any fall. She just stared at the puck and ran her thumb over the orange.

Sudden footsteps ran around the corner, and Hwanhee felt more shocked than he had when he met Jinwook earlier to see Wooseok standing there. And then the shock faded; no doubt Somi told him Hwanhee wanted to talk. No doubt she had typed a message of where the two were right under Hwanhee's nose, when the two were walking. Somi had her phone out; Hwanhee should have known. He _should have known_.

Hwanhee hadn't been looking at Wooseok for more than a few seconds before Wooseok was lashing out; he brought his arm back and threw a bouquet of roses-- where did he even get those? why did he have them?-- at Hwanhee. They burst against his shoulder; thorns met his collar bones, and Hwanhee flinched away. He had a second to look back, and Wooseok was already there-- grabbing Hwanhee by the shoulder-- the fabric over his shoulder-- and throwing him to the ground. Hwanhee started to beg this time-- odd thing for him to do, even for himself; because he usually just took the beatings and perhaps tried to block some of Wooseok's punches. But he begged Wooseok-- he said "Hyung! Hyung, I didn't--" _do anything_ , but Wooseok wasn't listening. He tucked himself over Hwanhee and began to punch-- punch after punch, and Hwanhee even cried out to Somi. But Somi didn't do anything; she stood aside and held Minsoo's helmet, his puck. She didn't even turn her eyes away; she _watched_.

Hwanhee had never felt more betrayed-- not the first time Wooseok hit him, not now, when Wooseok was raining fists onto his cheeks. Perhaps he should have kept Minsoo's things to himself.

That night, they were all wearing black. And it meant something to all of them.

 

 

 

 

Minsoo linked his fingers through Somi's and pulled a few leaves from her hair-- a few little pieces he had missed when she was playing in the dim autumn leaves. Somi was animated and happy; smiling and skipping and playing with Minsoo's fingers. Minsoo was so in love he couldn't speak a word; he couldn't act anything apart from watching. He was so in love with the woman in front of him-- with her smile and her laugh. He was in love with her "It's been a year!" and the smile he could imagine on her face when he gave her her present (even though they'd agreed not to swap anything).

Minsoo made the excuse of "We have a game soon," and the two walked into the coffee shop and she wondered why Hwanhee and Wooseok were there. That wasn't a lie-- but it wasn't the only reason they were there. The reason they were there was revealed ten minutes later-- when they had all changed into their jerseys and gotten the cake ready. It wasn't much-- just a cake with a single candle, a wish just for Somi, but Minsoo knew how much it would mean to her.

His heart fluttered when he, Hwanhee, and Wooseok left the back room. Somi had pulled her hair into a ponytail and was playing with her jenga blocks-- something she loved to do more than anything. Hwanhee had the playful idea of sneaking up on her-- which they did. And she jumped, amused into laughing; amused into barely opening her mouth in shock at the little cake Minsoo had balanced in his palm. Somi looked at him with that sparkle in her eyes; and she asked, "You got a cake?" and Minsoo shrugged, "Made one, actually. Make a wish," and Somi laughed her beautiful little laugh, and she closed her eyes, and she wished for whatever she wished for, and she blew the candle out-- Minsoo helping her over her shoulder.

"What did you wish for?" Hwanhee asked, excited-- like a puppy, as Somi often said. Somi glared at him softly, "Don't you know if I tell you it won't come true?" and Hwanhee pouted, "That's a myth! Come on-- we can help you make it true if you tell us," and Somi might have argued that a wish was a wish and that wishes rarely came true at the hands of people, but Minsoo nudged her softly and told her "Tell us, baby girl," and she did, "I wished that our relationship would last forever," and Minsoo gently squeezed her fingers, "Silly girl. You don't have to wish for that."

That day, Wooseok, Hwanhee, and Minsoo were wearing blue and red-- their team jerseys; and Somi was wearing yellow. And it meant something to all of them.


End file.
